If you are ever suffering from domestic abuse, know that help is available. This piece will explore how to identify domestic violence and what to do.
Domestic abuse is defined by the Women’s Aid to be patterns of controlling and coercive behaviour.
It can happen to anyone, any gender, any socio-economic background and so, it is pivotal to recognise the signs before it is too late.
There are three main types of domestic abuse.
1. Physical abuse
2. Verbal abuse
3. Coercive and controlling behaviour
Physical abuse
Physical abuse is violence, it can be hitting, pushing, slapping, kicking, choking and using weapons.
Verbal abuse
Verbal abuse is using words to insult, demean, and put down.
Coercive and controlling behaviour
Coercive and controlling behaviour is a type of emotional abuse. Coercion is intended to intimidate and humiliate. Controlling behaviour is when the victim is made to feel like a subordinate, and they are cut off from their support networks like friends and family.
Controlling behaviour from a partner can include monitoring their phone usage, controlling their finances, and tracking their everyday activities.
Getting help is essential when you are experiencing domestic abuse, calling a helpline and having a meeting arranged with legal aid solicitors.
Reporting domestic abuse
Since domestic abuse is against the law it is important to report abusers to the police. The Serious Crime Act 2015 has made coercive control illegal within England and Wales.
Reporting someone to the police is not easy. You might feel guilty and afraid but know that the police are trained to respond to victims of domestic abuse. However, the truth is domestic abuse often goes unreported due to the victim’s trauma.
Other factors include:
· A belief that the abuser will change. You might relate to being convinced that your partner will change because of promises and pleadings but if you witness a pattern of behaviour it is important to keep a record of it.
· Fear of being at risk. Abuse victims are often too afraid to report due to fears of retaliation. Fears of retaliation can make someone feel trapped inside their relationship, fearing for their safety. The fear can remain even several years after leaving the relationship.
· Fear of isolation from friends and family. Isolation and loneliness can prevent someone from leaving an abusive relationship. Abusers tend to isolate their victims or make them feel that no one will support them if they stand against them.
· Emotional manipulation. Domestic abuse victims feel that everything is their fault and often have low self-esteem, which acts as a barrier to receiving help.
Receiving legal aid
Legal aid can be offered if there is evidence that you (and your children if you have any) have experienced domestic violence and you cannot afford to pay the legal costs.
You can receive the evidence you need from:
· The police
· The courts
· Your doctor/any health professional
· Social services
· A refuge manager
· A domestic violence support centre
· Your employer
· Your bank
Legal aid can help pay for your legal services so please click here to check if you are eligible. But don’t worry as some solicitors will provide a pay-as-you-go option.
Community support
On the other hand, getting the help you need is more than just the legal side, community is so important. Confiding in a friend or family member whilst you endure testing times. Join a local support group like Safe Steps so you can be guided as you rebuild your life after experiencing domestic abuse.
Safe Steps provides accommodation for women and children who have lived through domestic abuse. Organisations like Safe Steps can provide refuge, comfort and support- giving tools to domestic abuse victims to rehabilitate.
Community support plays a large role in the recovery process for survivors of domestic abuse. It provides a safe space for individuals to share their experiences, gaining support from members of their community. By connecting with others who have experienced domestic abuse, survivors can find strength and validation as they navigate their lives. Such spaces are inclusive and provide survivors with an outlet and the option to share their life experiences whilst being anonymous.
Recovery takes time but knowledge is power (Sir Francis Bacon) but you or your loved one will get through this with the right support and resources. Remember, domestic abuse is punishable by law so please speak up.
In an emergency call 999, don’t leave it too late. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse now, there is no later.
Help available
For Domestic Abuse support click for the Victim Supportline or call 08 08 16 89 111.
