Woman confesses mortifying moment she drunkenly defecated in “casual boyfriend’s” plant pot – after attempting to break in through kitchen window

A WOMAN has shared the mortifying moment she drunkenly defecated in a plant pot outside her “casual boyfriend’s” home – after attempting to break in through the kitchen window.

Writing into popular Scots podcast Girls Overheard on Friday, she explained that she had been on a drunken night out with friends when she suddenly decided to visit a fling’s house.

After numerous failed attempts to get his attention – including trying to crawl through his kitchen window- the woman soon realised she was in desperate need of the toilet.

But, with no way inside, she was forced to relieve herself in an outdoor plant pot – and was woken the next morning by him watching CCTV footage of her entry attempts.

Podcast host Eilidh Wells began the woman’s confession, reading: “A few years ago, I was out with my friends and ended up so drunk that I left and called myself a taxi.”

Eilidh breaks off to quickly ask her co-hosts: “What do you call that again?”

Her fellow co-hosts fill in: “Trapdoor.”

Eilidh continues to read the confession: “I decided that a booty call was in order. I ended up getting dropped off at a guy’s house who I’d been casually seeing.”

Co-host Lauren Kerr chimes in: “Well done, you! Take control of your life.”

Eilidh continues to read off her phone: “After repeatedly repeatedly knocking on his door at 2am, calling him –”

The women look embarrassed as they begin to feel sorry for the confessor, as Eilidh then comments: “It’s not looking good, bruv.”

The women chortle as Lauren adds: “It went downhill really quickly.”

Eilidh reads on: “After repeatedly knocking his door at 2am, calling him and trying to break in through his kitchen window I realised I was bursting for the toilet.

“Long story short, I ended up sh***ing in his plant pot. Eventually, I got into his house, he laughed at the state of me and I fell asleep within minutes.

“Not my best night. In the morning, I woke up to the sound of him laughing in bed next to me, replaying the CCTV footage of me trying to break into the kitchen.

“It took me a minute for the whole night to flash back to me –”

Eilidh adds: “I feel the sickness. Oh my god.”

She reads again: “And then utter panic went through my body as I realised what he was about to see next.”

Co-host Ash Reid jests: “Something ungodly.”

Eilidh continues again: “It just ends on – I cleaned the plant pot, left and didn’t hear from him again.”

Lauren jibes: “She actually climbed through that window with a sh**ty arse.”

Disgusted Eilidh groans: “No, I don’t think she climbed through the window.”

Lauren jokes : “Well, she climbed in his bed anyway, with a pooey bum.”

Eilidh says: “It could have just been one of the wee ones that’s like a wee silent effort.”

Lauren laughs as she says: “No if she’s been out drinking.”

Ash jokes: “If she was on the vodka oranges that is definitely not a firm – it’s really not a good sign. Loose!”

Eilidh suggests: “If it’s a casual boyfriend it’s never a good thing to show up to somebody’s door, also dying for a s**t.”

The hilarious clip was shared by the girls on Friday with the joking caption: “She has to drop off the kids at the pool.”

The video received over 37,000 likes and 275 comments from users left cringing by the woman’s mortifying admission.

One person said: “I’ve never had worse secondhand embarrassment than this.”

Another wrote: “She might have had a ghostie.”

A third commented: “This made me feel so much better about some of my drunk antics. Nice to know I’m not the only roaster about.”

A fourth added: “I would have been doing the walk of shame into oncoming traffic. You just know he told his boys.”