Installation of “commemorative bonk machine” ‘announced’ on street corner of legendary Scots video

THE installation of a “commemorative bonk machine” on the street corner of a legendary Scots video has been ‘announced’.

The video in question went viral in 2017 when Doug Wood from Hopeman, Moray came across an intoxicated man attempting to use his bank card through the railings of the Ness bridge, Inverness.

In the now iconic video, Doug approaches the unidentified man and says: “Here bud, that’s nae a bank machine. It’s not a bank machine, it’s a fence”, with the bewildered man simply replying “oh, right”.

Viewers immediately latched on to Doug’s pronunciation of ‘bank machine’, which has become a heavily-referenced moment in Scottish pop culture.

The railing has also since become an iconic location in Inverness with many visitors frequently posing where the hilarious video took place.

Yesterday, social media page Inverness Tourist Board jokingly announced that they installed a “commemorative bonk machine” next to the famous location at 4pm on Wednesday.

In a Facebook post, they wrote: “New Commemorative Bank Machine. In celebration of the Inverness Tourist Board reaching 4,000 followers, we wanted to give something back to this great city.

“We’ve installed a brand new commemorative ATM in the place which needs a ‘bonk machine’ the most!
Thanks for following.”

In the post, the page showed a picture of the alleged ATM standing proudly next to the railings of the Ness Bridge.

The photo shows a standard-looking ATM, however the sign above it reads: “Free cash withdrawals bonk machine.”

In the machine’s screen the number 4,000 can be seen, indicating their landmark of reaching 4,000 followers.

The post has received over 1,100 likes and more than 1,000 comments from users left in stitches at the page’s hilarious ‘announcement’.

Laura Garden wrote: “That’s no a bonk machine pal, it’s a bridge.”

Cal Stevenson commented: “Thauts nae a bonk…. Thauts a fance.”

Becca Morrison wrote: “Can’t even tell if this is a joke or not.”

Douglas Campbell said: “Still £1.95 to withdraw tho aye?”

A spokesperson from the Inverness Tourist Board said today: “We’re so proud to be able to serve the people of Inverness by promoting the city to both residents and visitors alike.

“The ‘That’s Nae a Bonk Machine’ YouTube video was extremely popular and people come from all over the country on a pilgrimage to see the famous invisible bank machine.

“It seemed fitting for us to finally make that ‘bonk machine’ become a reality to thank the residents of Inverness for all their support.

“We considered what would be the best gift to give to the people of Inverness, so we shortlisted the most popular attractions in Inverness and agreed that that corner of Huntly Street/Ness Bridge had been ignored as a landmark by Visit Scotland for too long and should be marked with a ‘bonk machine’ to commemorate the most viral video to come out of Inverness.

“The ‘bonk machine’ is custom. I know a boy who works in Speedprint down the town and they were happy to print our designs, making this machine a pure one off, just like our glorious city.

“People seem to be very excited by it and there are lots of positive comments.

“It’s a popular spot for people to visit to tick off the list of cultural hotspots to visit in the Highlands and indeed Scotland. So anything that gets people talking about Inverness is great in our opinion!”

In response, 31-year-old Doug Wood – the original man behind the video – had his say about the announcement.

He said today: “I think it’s a truly great honour to be acknowledged for the greatest video on the internet. It makes me proud every time I cross the bridge.

“I had some friends over visiting from Australia and had taken them to lunch, when we walked out the restaurant this was what we witnessed.

“I couldn’t believe it went viral and even more so couldn’t believe the stick I got for my accent.”

When asked about the “commemorative bonk machine”, the ROV Pilot said: “I couldn’t believe it, you wouldn’t think it was real.

“The council did have a sign up there previously but it was taken down which is a bit sad.”