Divorce is considered to be one of the most stressful personal events anyone can go through and with it comes many emotions highs and lows.
To properly recover and move forward in life, you need to take stock and get in touch with your emotions. It will help you to really sit back and consider how you feel and where you want to go from here.
It’s okay to feel a certain way following something as tumultuous as divorce. Even if you have had a somewhat amicable divorce. We’re only human.
To help you get past the negative feelings, you need to not just listen to your emotions and what your body and mind are saying to you, but when you’re ready, start to act on it as well.
Appreciate the Difference Between High Energy Feelings and Low Energy Feelings
Whether you are a spiritual person who believes in different “energies” or whether you think it’s complete hocus-pocus, it doesn’t matter. The premise is the same. There are some thoughts and feelings which will serve you positively and others which aren’t helpful to your situation.
You need to be able to tell the difference between what are high energy and low energy feelings or emotions.
Low energy feelings are things such as worry about the lack of money or time you have, resentment, fear, negativity and stress.
Whereas high energy emotions or feelings are compassion, love, positive, happy, abundance and joy.
How to Switch From Low Energy to High Energy Feelings?
When you are experiencing low energy feelings, it’s only natural that you will want to switch to high energy feelings.
Accept That You’re Human
To do this, you need to first accept that you are human. Feeling low after going through a divorce is absolutely normal, so be kind to yourself.
Although your ultimate goal is to make that switch, you need to appreciate it is unlikely to happen overnight.
Start Small
Begin by trying to do something small, but effective that is going to give you some joy like smelling the flowers in your garden, cuddling your pet. The little things.
Even if you are in the office, you can take a bit of time out to reminisce on an experience or event that made you happy.
You will already be able to feel the difference as you change your thoughts and your inner energy with it.
Capitalise on these changes by thinking of other positive things in your life that bring you joy, whether they are things, events or anything else.
Just continue to think of different things until you start feeling that high energy counterbalances the low energy.
Self Love – Do Things That Automatically Alter Your Mood
After the little things, you might want to ramp it up a bit and start to treat yourself to things that automatically give you a positive energy lift.
These aren’t material things, but things that make you feel better about yourself. For example, you can treat yourself to a visit to the spa for some pampering or the hair salon for a new look. If you’re unsure about a new look, you can let your hairdresser suggest something wild or find some inspiration for your hair here.
If you’ve neglected your health and fitness during your marriage, now might also be a great time to get back into it or discover something new you might enjoy.
Besides the health benefits, you also get an amazing mood change after exercise due to the release of endorphins – happy hormones.
Group sessions could get you out of the house and meeting new people, but if that doesn’t appeal to you, there are sites like LiftNLive to help anybody find exercise that they enjoy.
While these things, like looking after your appearance and exercising, might seem superficial, you’ll be surprised at how instantly energised these activities can make you feel.
Take Time to Reflect
Is it the situations or people in your life that have changed or is it more that you have changed?
While still on that high from the change in energy you’ve experienced, you can now take the next step and do something, anything and enjoy the feeling of contentment that comes from accomplishing a goal.
Don’t be Scared to Say No
When you go through the trials of divorce it can naturally make you question yourself and knock your confidence.
You need to put those fears aside and be the person you know you are. If something feels right or wrong, acknowledge it.
For example, when things don’t feel quite right, give yourself a pause and take a resting moment.
This gives you time to collect your thoughts and watch as a specific situation unfolds. You can make better decisions when you take your time. Don’t let anyone pressure you into rushing.
When something feels right, it is usually a sign that you are confident in your decisions.
By listening to what’s in your heart, you are keeping your own integrity and this eventually makes it much easier to say no.
This is something people struggle with a lot. They are asked a favour and even though they know they don’t really have the time, they can’t say no, so automatically say “yes” as they’re put on the spot.
Next time that happens, you need to think for a moment and if there are any concerns or doubts in your head and heart, say no or at least suggest to them that you need to check your schedule and let them know at a later date.
Then away from that pressurised situation, think about what’s going on through your heart and head and figure out how you feel about helping them out or attending whatever they have suggested.
If, after a couple of days you still have those nagging doubts, it might be that saying no is right for you. If you feel alright and confident about the event, say yes.
Ultimately, do the things that make you happy
Being able to read your own feelings and being emotionally intelligent is ultimately the key to getting past this and moving forward with a new and improved you.
These internal and external tips will help you get on that path but being in tune with yourself is the way to stay on it.
