Deadline at the Fringe are interviewing performers across the festival, putting 20 questions to them – both as an artist and as their stage or performance alter ego.
Meet Kevin the Vampyr: An expat antipodean pretending to be a Vampyr who loves to sing and dance. He’s in Edinburgh with his show ‘Kevin the Vampyr and Friends presents: The Vim and Vigour Variety Hour’ – A one-man variety mash-up of story, song and stupidity.
First we speak to Kevin the Vampyr
- First impressions of our fair city and, why are you here?
It smells like a circus and sings like a steam train.
- Does your time here bring on joy or dread?
Is joy not the absence of dread, and dread in turn the same of joy and together are they not reliant on one another, always in shadow, and thus eternally the pillars of romance?
- How did you travel to the capital, and are you alone or with friends?
In a lorry heading north for the summer; I was wedged in the back next to crates of cabbage and tins of tomato soup with only the soft pillow of my cheekbones slapping steel for comfort.
- Where will you visit on your day off and why?
I shall rattle bones where the music is loudest and the lights are lowest and the crowd is least content.
- What Scottish delicacies do you enjoy and, do any of them fill you with fear?
I love a Scot. Especially the delicate ones.
- Which watering hole will you most likely be stopping at?
There’s this gutter just at the southern end of north street which catches all the muck that slides underneath the city and heads out down towards England. If you go just before sunrise it glistens and you can see worms and rats holding onto discarded cans of Irn Bru and soggy batter as they ride the wave of filth out of town to the next party.
- Which other act would you be most likely to recommend to a friend?
If he were here this year I’d recommend people see LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT. He’s an absolute darling. I’ve worked with him for years. What a guy!
- Plug your show in three words.
Free. Maybe. Oops.
- Are you a newcomer or a veteran?
I’m 437 years old. I’m a super-vet. (note: I’m probably not good at looking after pets so please don’t ask)
- What do you love most about the festival?
The feast, for the eyes, for the ears, for the heart… the Fe(a)stival.
- What do you hate most about the festival?
That is doesn’t last all year.
- What is your biggest fear before going on stage?
That someone has left a window open and it’s a matinee.
- Quote yourself. What’s the best thing you’ve ever said?
When life gives you lemons… shut the fuck up about it… when else are you going to get something for free?!
- What does success and failure mean to you?
Is success not the absence of failure, and failure in turn the same of absence and together are they not reliant on one another, always in shadow, and thus eternally the pillars of romance?
- What is your worst habit?
Biting my nails. And people.
- Most embarrassing moment?
When I was given a bag of lemons and wouldn’t stop telling everyone about I had this great big bag of lemons and they were huge and delicious and I was going to make the best lemonade anyone had ever tasted, I think they came from Amalfi, they have the biggest lemons in the world in Amalfi and yet the tiniest streets in the world, and they wind up and down the hills to the meet the sea, these tiny old trucks carrying heavy loads of big fresh lemons and by the time I finished my lecture on the Amalfi lemon my lemons, I think they came from Amalfi, they have the biggest lemons in the world in Amalfi and yet the tiniest streets in the world, and they wind up and down the hills to the meet the sea, these tiny old trucks carrying heavy loads of big fresh lemons and by the time I finished my lecture on the Amalfi lemon my lemons, I think they came from Amalfi, they have the biggest lemons in the world in Amalfi and yet the tiniest streets in the world, and they wind up and down the hills to the meet the sea, these tiny old trucks carrying heavy loads of big fresh lemons and by the time I finished my lecture on the Amalfi lemon my lemons, I think they came from Amalfi…
- Where is your favourite place in the world and why?
Second star to the right and straight on ’til morning.
- Who would you choose to be if you were not you?
Marcel Lucont, for sure.
- What is your greatest ambition?
To be free from ambition.
- How can we bring world peace?
Turn everyone into vampires.
… and now we hear from Tommy Bradson who plays Kevin.
- First impressions of our fair city and, why are you here?
Its like a painting, a still life in fast motion. I’m here to live in it for a short spin, like a t-shirt on the dry cycle.
- Does your time here bring on joy or dread?
Dread locks.
- How did you travel to the capital, and are you alone or with friends?
British Airways, the best in the biz.
- Where will you visit on your day off and why?
I’ll likely be sleeping in a dolls house at the Museum of Childhood.
- What Scottish delicacies do you enjoy and, do any of them fill you with fear?
I’m a sucker for a Clootie dumpling. And Irn Bru fills me with absolute teeth breaking fear.
- Which watering hole will you most likely be stopping at?
The Sheep Heid Inn. It smells like my grandad.
- Which other act would you be most likely to recommend to a friend?
There’s this guy who always hangs outside Usher Hall. He mostly just yells at people about Christianity. It’s fascinating because his monologue shifts in tone and it’s hard to tell if he’s for it or against it.
- Plug your show in three words.
Strange. Sharp. Stupid.
- Are you a newcomer or a veteran?
Second time. First was 10 years ago. Aaaaaaaah!
- What do you love most about the festival?
The feeling of dread at the start and the great relief on the last day.
- What do you hate most about the festival?
The feeling of dread at the start and the great relief on the last day.
- What is your biggest fear before going on stage?
That no one is watching.
- Quote yourself. What’s the best thing you’ve ever said?
A man is paying his cheque. He says to the waiter, ‘Waiter I had some difficulty with my dessert’ and the waiter says ‘you shouldn’t have, it was a piece of cake.’
- What does success and failure mean to you?
Success is giving people the opportunity to smile. Failure is not having fun doing it.
- What is your worst habit?
Not coming to Edinburgh Festival Fringe every year.
- Most embarrassing moment?
It hasn’t happened yet, but it might whilst I’m in Scotland.
- Where is your favourite place in the world and why?
My Nana’s. In Sydney, Kogarah… because she smells nice and laughs real hard when people fall over or get hit in the face on tv.
- Who would you choose to be if you were not you?
On the island of Milos in Greece there are tour boats that tut tourists around the island all day, catching the breeze, swimming in crystal water and having a laugh. I want to drive that boat.
- What is your greatest ambition?
To survive August.
- How can we bring world peace?
Give it a chance.
