SCOTLAND’S doziest dope fiend user gave his GPS coordinates to a “dealer” who claimed he would drop off weed in “da chopper”.
In a hilarious text exchange between the pair, which has surfaced online, the prankster claimed he needed the details for his “Apache sat nav”.
The clueless Glaswegian customer only realised he was being trolled when he went outside and couldn’t hear the sound of rotor blades.
The farcical drug deal starts with the unnamed drug user texted: “Alright mate. I was just given your number. I’m looking for some green if you got some?”
The dealer replied: “Aye bro what you after? Got all the potent here the now , just back from Cali [California] f**k.”
The customer asked: “What you give me for £40 and do you drop off?”
The dealer promised a “quarter gram of that stonky stonk” adding: “Give me your coordinates, I’ll drop it off in the chopper.”
At first, the customer gives him a street address, writing: “27 ****. Is that alright mate?”
The dealer replies: “Going to need longitude and lattitude bro. You got anywhere I can land this thing?”
The customer texts back: “Alright. Are you serious about the longitude and latitude by the way?”
The dealer inists: “Aye bro need to whack it in the Apache sat nav.”
Incredibly, the customer responds with precise coordinates: “Lat: 55**** Long -4****.”
Eventually the dealer warns there has been a “slight delay” as he has encountered “some turbulence”.
Only then does the penny start to drop for the customer, who writes: “I don’t mean to be a cheeky c*** but are you taking the piss or are you serious?”
Still the dealer goes with it, writing: “I’m approaching. You want to stand outside your gaff and signal me down with a torch? It’s a bit cloudy.”
“What am I looking for then?” asks the customer. “Is it a drone or something?”
“No bro, a f****** Apache helicopter. You think I’m some sort of dafty?” replies the dealer.
In the final message the customer finally twigs. “No, but I think I am to think that you’ve got an Apache.
“I went out but can’t see or hear anything.”
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture said: “Scottish trolls are the best trolls.”
Retrospekt wrote: “Ahh the Glesgae banter!”
para1magician commented: “Sweet Jesus this is impossible for me to read. I’m going cross eyed trying!!”
